Male Mysteries -- Solved!

Experts explain why men act the way they do.
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Why doesn't he just listen

If you call a friend and say "I'm having a crappy day," she'll put everything on hold and ask, "Are you okay?" Your partner, on the other hand, hears your complaints and tries to explain why it isn't so bad.

"There's a difference between how men and women process stress," explains John Gray, Ph.D., author of Why Mars and Venus Collide. For a woman, talking stimulates serotonin production to relax the brain, so she'll instinctively talk in order to feel better. For a man, stress sets off the brain's action center, and he's more likely to focus on taking action to fix the problem.

Which may explain why offering a listening ear doesn't come automatically for many men. "But if you tell him that the solution is just to listen, he can relax. He doesn’t have to hunt for a solution, so he can listen, and maybe even empathize," says Gray.


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